Is the Burden Built In?

There I was… Standing in front of the elementary schools 6th grade classes, with parents, teachers and administrators.

With “… And that is why I look up to my big brother.”, I finished.

It formed me, but it didn't shape me. I am designed for writing, not destined.

During the previous six weeks of school, one afternoon per week, I had gone through a drug awareness program taught by the county Sheriffs department.

Throughout the course of the program we would listen in class and fill blanks on the pages, in the booklet that we were given. At the end of the day, we would have to take the books home to complete the assignment for the next weeks course lesson.

“Draw a picture of what you would like to be when you grow up”

“Write three things you would say to a friend who would offer you drugs?”

The last assignment was to write about one person in our life and why we look up to them. Maybe the idea was to give us a someone who would help us walk through life. When we have questions about what is right and what is wrong, we might have an answer. I image most of the kids were writing about Micheal Jordan or George Bush Sr. Maybe fictional characters like Batman or Superman were relevant icons in some of my classmates lives. No matter who, we should be able to think about that person and wonder what they would do, right?

“Would Superman drink beer?” they would say.

The conscience replies “no… of course not.”

“Then I will not drink beer until I am twenty-one years of age” would be their correct response.

I, of course, had the correct perspective of this assignment. I needed to tell the most inspirational story of who I look up to, so I could win the prize and be able to speak at the programs graduation. I told of my older brother and his passion for baseball, music and the drinking and driving program he was working with. I commented on the difficulties with the life of a teenager and how, with the correct perspective, he would be able to traverse the ups and downs of high school and (like my brother) would be able to stay drug free.

I’m not sure where this motivation came from, but I think it could be that I am a writer. Perhaps it has been built into me to look at life and be able to write things that, even if what I am writing  is completely beyond my understanding, would tell a story that humans can relate to and be drawn into. If this idea is correct, then the story I am telling is the first glimpse that I can recall, of what I am good at.

I remember being told that I had the best write up for that assignment and that it would be me who was going to read my story at the graduation. We graduated the next Wednesday night and everyone was there. The Sheriff Dept. introduced the night and principal made a speech, of course… As my turn arrived, they called my name from the podium.

“Up next we would like to invite the students who best represented the goals of (..the program..) in their own words.” said the speaker. They called my name and up I went to read my story. As I finished and started on my way to sit down, amidst the applause, there was a sense in me that writing was something I could do. I had accomplished something great and it made other people happy(People like Jae;).

It isn’t for the sake of writing that I’m telling this story though. The thing that rings “true” in me is that this situation in particular helped form the direction I was going to walk from there. It could be that you knew you were going to be a teacher since you were 7 year of age and everything you did was surrounded by that. That is not the way it went for me though. It formed me, but it didn’t shape me. I am designed for writing, not destined. Which brings me back to “The Preface”. That day, stepping out of the shower, it was as if something changed in me. I went back to the day when I was told that my article was the best and I was compelled by confidence.

“You can do this” the Voice said.

I know I’m hitting the same theme from a previous post but I really believe that there are things in life that form us, but they don’t shape us. Deep motivations, within our soul, that tell us we are capable. Life has a way of strangling those motivations and we become consumed by the demands of this world that we place on ourselves.

I’ve heard it said that there is One who will give us His burden to carry because it is light and He will take our burden from us because it is heavy. What if our burden is the empire we built and demands of that world, along with all of the expectations of others and the self-sufficient attitude that comes with it? All those thing weigh us down and make us disinterested in others and disinterested in the One who gave us life.  What if His burden is what He designed us to do and His ability to teach us and provide for us along the way? What if the burden that He has for us is something easy, like

write things, take pictures, talk to people, play guitar, be a mom, be a school teacher etc… if you like doing it, that could be it.

Maybe I can look up to my big brother and the good things that he does and I can write, and become not only “myself,” but I can become who I was designed to be and the challenges will be difficult to face, but they’ll be worth the effort.